Do I sound mad?

"Leave me never would you, you show could I if

She said that she still wants a friendship
She can't live her life without me as a friend
I can't figure out why I'd give a damn to what she wants
I don't understand the now before the then

Most of this garbage I write
That these people seem to like
Is about you
And how I let you infect my life
And if they got to know you
I doubt that they would see it
They'd wonder what i showed you
How you could leave it
A friend in Chicago said that I should stay persistent
If I stay around I'm bound to break resistance
Fuck you, Lucy, for defining my existence
Fuck you and your differences

Ever since I was a young lad
With a part-time dad
It was hard to find happiness inside of what I had
I studied my mother
I digested her pain
And vowed no woman on my path would have to walk the same
Travel like sound across the fate ladder
I travel with spoon to mix this cake batter
And i travel with feels so i can deal with touch
It's like that
Thank you very much
Fuck you very much

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Fuck the what happened
I got stuck
They can peel pieces of me off the grill of her truck
Used to walk with luck
Used to hold her hand
Fell behind and played the role of a slower man
I wanna stand on top of this mountain and yell
I wanna wake up and break up this lake of hell
I feel like a bitch for letting the sheet twist me up
The last star fighter is wounded time to give it up
On a pick it up mission
Kept it bitter
Getting in a million memories just to forget her
The difficulty in keeping emotions controlled
Cookies for the road
Took me by the soul
Hunger for the drama
Hunger for the nurture
Gonna take it further
The hurt feels like murder
Interpret
The eyes
Read the lines on her face
The sunshine is fake
How much time did i waste?
Fuck you, Lucy, for leaving me
Fuck you, Lucy, for not needin' me
I wanna say fuck you
Because i still love you
No, I'm not OK
And I don't know what to do

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Do I sound mad?
Well I guess I'm a little pissed
Every action has a point
Five points make a fist
You close 'em
You swing 'em
It hurts when it hits
And the truth can be a bitch
But if the boot fits
I got an idea
You should get a tattoo that says "Warning"
That's all, just a warning
So the potential victim
Can take a left and safe breath
And avoid you
Sober and upset in the morning
I wanna scream "Fuck you, Lucy!"
But the problem is I love you, Lucy
So instead
I'm gonna finish my drink and have another
While you think about how you used to be my lover
(Fuck you)

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Leave never would you, you show could I if..." - Atmosphere

    I know M.L.A format but I'm not going to follow it for this post, in fact i may make a lot of mistakes but whatever, i really want to get out what im feeling through writing, right now - it may get dark. When you read these lyrics you'll find that he is talking about his co-dependency on things whether it be his girlfriend or some kind of drug. When you hear him rapping in this song...it's powerful...and i feel his passion. I get that with all kinds of music. Ugh, it's dark and a part of me loves to accept that...a big part of me actually. I don't feed off of sadness nor do i fend it off. I can explain why i feel so chaotic but for what? It doesn't do me any good; I'm just experiencing  a cluttered mind from things i have not let go of. At this moment part of letting go is writing this right now. I can admit that i am hurt and accept it but letting go is another thing. Love. Life. She hurt me bad, man. Yeah, yeah, either way it's going to be okay, it all passes in time.


For the reader ;) I hope i didn't creep/weird you out with this rant, my mind just went there, lol. I had too. Plus i need to catch up. You might not like rap music, so i don't know if  the song will resonate with you, but i'm sure you've had some heart-break. You'll feel me, i'm sure ahah