i'm five short

Soooo, there has been so much shit with occupy and may day, that i have no idea where the time went.
Tuesday general strike! <3

Saturdayyy

I'm staying in for most of the day, i have a paper to write...horrible -_-
Later, i should be out in LA getting some wurstkouche, its a German bratwurst place, BEEER!
hahaha. Should be nice to see all my friends, i need too.

Im not trying to half ass it, i swear..

I really do not have much to say, plus my fingers hurt from playing bass. The band is going great, i am taking pictures with them tomorrow..0_o band pictures...interesting. hahaha. My days have been coming along, i have  a lot of plans that need work on; i am motivating myself to keep on them. There is much that needs to be done. Every day is different, thank god; i am feeling very indifferent about certain things...ehh, but no matter what, still letting it be! 2 am, i need sleep.

I love her! The new album is amazing! I'm going to be writing my paper, while listening to her, should be a good day!

4 am

I do not know if an insomniac or i just have to much to think about before i go to sleep. I just had a mini argument with my mom, yes! 4 am conversations about shit that does not matter. -_- Ugh, why do people judge? My mom is so stressed out about bills that she takes it out on me, it is not my fault shit is like this, maybe she should just go out and occupy. im delirious and im speaking nonsense, i have no clue as to why i am up, but i am...ohhh boy.

Why your eyes our windows to my soul

Eyes our windows to the soul.
They reflect the ever changing moment occurring in the universe.
Eyes show us star dust, star clusters, galaxies; they are crystal balls
that reflect our environment.
They are precious jewels to the soul.
Look into them.

Friends

I could not be more grateful for my friends, even the ones i do not talk to often. My friends that do not completely understand me are the best ones, because i feel myself being so open to their own ways of life. I am so happy knowing that every experience that i have shared with people resides in my heart; my experiences with them have shaped me into the person i am today. Even if it is a person i have met once, it is still a connection and i am still sharing a moment with you that means the world to me. We meet and greet for a reason, it is to see how we are all interconnected. Whether we share our lives stories or not, you come from the same essence. Love, Love, Love, that is our interconnectedness.

Taking it so much better than expected

Observing your feelings after a situation that has had a deep emotional impact is hard for most people. When we hurt we tend to hide by projecting out insecurities on to others---of course i am speaking from experience. We tend to either lash out by victimizing ourselves, getting lost with our friends with drug use, or partying constantly; finding a quickie so we get rid of the lonely feeling; or just being a workaholic so you can forget your misery. We may not admit it but our motives at times can be very obscured  by our habitual patterns of unfulfillment or emptiness. The more we fall into the trap set up by ourselves, the more our lives become diluted. We search outside of ourselves in order to be satisfied, this is the case with most relationships too. We want people to tend to a certain image so we can fully be in love. Truth is: we are insecure; we do not trust nor love ourselves enough to be unconditional. It is so hard for people to observe this in themselves. We can not face ourselves with the truth because we are afraid of dealing with our insecurities. Instead of dealing with this and turning inward, we turn outward and dilute ourselves by searching for love. One can not search for love, that's is ridiculous, if you knew yourself you would know that this is something you already have; if you knew yourself you would know, everything you are searching for is inside of you. It is until one realizes this that a relationship can be healthy. It takes observation in order to understand that everything you want is stored in your being, it is waiting for you to harness it. Go within so you can stop this vicious pattern. Do yourself a favor, stop projecting outward and go inward. 

We dont pay too much attention :/

http://framework.latimes.com/2012/04/25/armenian-genocide/#/0 We should really pay more attention to the amount of suffering people have gone through. It's a shame that people still dont see the effects of genocide.

btw, i have no idea how many blogs i have, and i have no clue whether or not i will be able to complete all of them by this monday. Im so fucked. I guess only time will tell, it sure aint on my side, though. mreh.

Part one...? Maybe..

There is so much to say, but i do not know whether or not i should put it all in one blog. Plus, it is so late, that i should be getting sleep---whatever. I do not want to vague and not give details, but time has a hold on me so, i might just have to be. It seems like that is always the case. I guess, that is one thing i have to get better at...planning? No, i am organized, just always caught up in every moment i am. When i get involved into each moment, i get involved--i dive right into it! There was much that i needed to get situated, i needed to balance out my finances concerning my mom. I figured living on my own can wait. Honestly, i know by the end of summer i will probably be gone. I want to go out of the country in order to find a great monastery somewhere in Southeastern Asia, but i also found a great school in Colorado that incorporates Buddhist teachings into its curriculum--- which means i can go to school and still get a great in depth look on Buddhism. I am set on pursuing either of the two, both seem like a great option. It is a great change in environment, there are other places that need to be explored; other people to meet and connect with; experiences with valuable lessons in store; i love the sound of the experience. I am not trying to escape my environment, but realizing that there are other places that call to me. This place has been great, but i have grown out of it. It is a symbol of everything i am growing out of. Although, I do acknowledge that everywhere i go: it is all the same land; change is constant in this land, thus, i move with the change. Believe me when i say, there has been some major changes. The echoes of my last relationship still vibrate in my heart cave; the sound resonating, shaking my bones to the core. It lingers and it becomes stagnant after a while. I do not hold remorse towards this in anyway; i just feel the hurt that we have caused ourselves, as i know she is probably still hurting after finding out what she has been up to lately. There has never been a "getting over someone" phase for me. I do not look at is as if i am passing the person to their next partner so, i can also have my share. My process is completely different from that of the status quo. She quickly went on the rebound, but my contentedness led to my acceptance of being alone with myself. I am so content with her happiness, our happiness, that i can not criticize her---to each his own. I took it so much better than expected. There is so much more to write, but i will be calling it a night, school in the morning. Hopefully, i get to see you tomorrow!     

Woaaah!

I have not been on this for awhile now, i am such a bad student. Haha. I will probably give you a whole re-cap of all the crazy adventures i have been through, tonight. Its certainly been an interesting last couple weeks. From finding out shit i did not really need to know, to getting a job and re-joining the "real" world. Meh, all in all, i can not complain (totally my motto),  just rolling with the punches and taking everything as it comes. I do have interesting stories though, can not wait to share!

newkicks

Never thought i would see myself in a band, it is quite interesting.
I love the direction that it is going, i can grow from this. I'm playing the bass, which
i have never played before--picked it up pretty fast though. I'm looking forward to it.
The band is sticking to mostly indie/folk music, which is right around my alley.
I won't be here for too long to see them progess, but it will be a good venture for the mean time.
Fuck YES.

Here, Here.

Space is empty, so our my words.
Nothing i do or say can bring back the days i try to hold on to so dearly.
Wash away my resistance, for i my pain flows like water.
My emptiness is filled with emotion, yet no words can
explain it. I will let go and float in my space.

The inbetween

Thoughts are endless, they pass, but they are like breaths: you inhale and exhale out. I imagine the universe being a huge breath, it is exhaling and eventually it will inhale. We (and i mean "we" as in our solar systems, planets, and everything else that makes up the universe), are the result of this exhalation. I have come to understand this by observing my own breath. For my thoughts and i--and everything that makes a human for that matter, is a representation of this happening. That is say, the happening is the exhalation of the universe. Breaths bestow an ablution for our thoughts, the more observant one becomes, the more you see thoughts dissolve.  They are a phenomena, like breaths, they just happen. Observe the happening. You are the in between. Never swayed by the wind but instead always being carried by it. I am the in between.           

Kevin

I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feet. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I want to be. 

I can do better.

    I read the papers, they were great. I enjoyed everything the students had to say, it was constructive, and it taught me a better strategy for next time. I am grateful for the opportunity. I never thought i was a good speaker, i always stumbled on my words, and say things out of context. I have always wanted to carry myself well; speak the truth and convey it properly. I am swallowed into an insecure trap played by mind. I have never been the smartest cookie; i feel my message is so skewered because of my inability to write or talk. I have big dreams and i am taking small steps, it is a tough road but i am on it. The art is always practice so, with practice i will be better at public speaking. I have a great attitude about what i am involved in on a day-to-day basis but, i do not know if this is the right path. It is great that i shared my personal story but i want to do more. I want to help people find themselves. My major requires so much of me, i wonder if i am capable, if i have the brains to do it. I feel like it do, but insecurity always gets the best of me. I can always do better. . .        

:]

I just came back from a hike, it was amazing. The day was vibrant and clear, i was able to see the whole city! I love days such as these, it reminds me to be thankful everyday for what we have here on Earth. Life is just to beautiful to waste away on the illnesses, financial strains, or emotional problems. When I'm hiking, i feel one with nature, it's a meditation. The hike could not have been better, i do not remember what the place was called but i know how to get there. I am going to make it a mission to show everyone this place, it truly made my day going up there.  

Today, shall be well.
The sun is out always brings out a new day,
I will be better, i will be stronger, and i will love more.
I can not let anything get me down right now.
Just have to keep on keepin on.

Blah, Blah.

1. We found that because there was too much corruption in the system, so many politicians saw an attrition in their poll numbers.

2. As human beings it is our duty to edify ourselves in order to bring about a more prosperous world.

3. They say that baptism is the best form of ablution but taking a shower is pretty much the equivalent.

4. The elocution of my presentation wasn't flawless but i know it always gets better after each try.  

5. I remember my journey like it was yesterday, it was vivid, and bright; i remember my body was going down the kaleidoscopic writhe. I was immersed in an endless spiral following the light.

6. The robber was running swiftly to out chase the cops; fortunately, the police tackled him to the ground before he could get away. The robber tried  to resist but the officers pinion was to strong.

7. We're all trying to come down to a fair decision about what movie we should watch, but we are all so ambivalent.

8. If we do not look for a solution to what is happening to our world, the kismet of the planet might be in danger.

9. They may think he is crazy, but the man is a cavalier, and he will sit on the hill until they decide to listen.

10. They're still trying to make bills to oppress woman, that needs to be nullified.

I can never find a good name for the blogs i write lol.

Yesterday was awesome! I loved being in front of the class and speaking; it's always been a passion of mine to talk to others about things of that sort. I love informing people.  I don't know if my message will ever reach out to people or inspire them but i am going to try, for the rest of my life. Reflecting upon yesterday i feel that i could have done a better job at conveying my message; i could have structured and organized a better way of expressing myself but i tried and i learned, so it's beautiful i had that opportunity. I will never be the one to try and instill any form of ideas, instead help them develop their own. We do not have rights to dictate anyone's life, to teach is to guide, not to lead. You can only teach someone to help them find their own way of life not teach them your way of life. Thank you for the opportunity, you have no idea how much it meant to me.      

richie havens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpfpFKzA4h8

I would have given anything to be at Woodstock. I can't believe your family members where at this event.
My core will always resemble a dirty hippie. hahahaha

People living deeply have no fear of death.

Living deeply with no boundaries,
swimming endlessly towards the sun,
i see my everlasting light,
Abundant, vibrant, and loving,
i give thanks everyday. The Sun: It lives and dies
everyday. The cycle of life is known for it's impermanence,
the moments are vagabonds, yet i settle in this unsettlement.
Every moment is a new adventure, thus i welcome death.

-random thoughts about Anais Nin quote, not poetry just stanzas hahahaha. 

Purging

I couldn't help feeling like i needed to pour my heart out to someone, today. It felt great being able to open to my friend about my past relationship. I'm working on overcoming it, the road is long, but i shall overcome. I feel great, nonetheless. I find myself questioning my logic at times; i feel young. I hear that all the time, "you're just young" Bleh, people swear like they have came to all the answers, no one knows shit, and they're afraid to admit. I for one know that i am young, but it does not mean i naive. I am human and feel emotion at any age. This is why i am selective of who i tell my story too, i am open but to a certain extent. Any who, the great thing is i released everything; ahh, Nina Simone: I'm feeling good.  

women's international day!

Women, you're all such beautiful beings; for decades you've dealt with men's egotistical needs and desires. Today, however, we forget the long hard past that you've all shared and we remember how beautiful and inspiring you guys are. You're mother nature herself: you give birth to life and love like no other. Though many of you aren't mothers yet, you will be, and that sort of motherly love is innate in all of you. I love you. I can't begin to describe how much i take honor in trying to serve each and every one of you everyday. Have a great day! 

http://vimeo.com/invisible/kony2012


I don't know if you've watched this already, but it's pretty hot in our current events. The message is great and i am behind this one percent. This is just another way we make change by spreading videos that raise awareness. I hope you can share this yourself!

Poetry maaan!

The cynics and the dreamers,
concerned at revolutions rubble and heap,
the hesitant and the weary,
the silence of masses asleep

those who wait and watch,
out of fear of asking too much,
too quickly with too much fervor,
for the charlatans to consider our request reasonably…

But is there reason left in a world lacking depth? 
Is there reason in making a request?
Or are we here to request nothing and expect everything?

moved by the insatiable consciousness of struggle,
by the cannibalism of global capitalism
we can neither request nor deny ourselves this revolution

we cannot make demands of manipulators
who measure success with campaign contributions,
and yet contribute nothing to building a more equitable world..

we will no longer validate those whose words and decisions
do nothing to empower the human spirit,
yet do everything to further the illusion of freedom,
To keep us ‘reasonable’ instead of righteously angry,
while we waste away the power of our people
through watered down words and censored dissent…

No.
We are the indignant and irrepressible;
The movers and the shakers.
We will not be reasonable.
We will be revolutionary.
We will deconstruct the tyrannies of feardom
And rise up out of majestic necessity
for an idea whose time has come.

It's been interesting.

        There is sooo much i would like to write about everyday, it's just impossible to get time in. I don't know how it is i am doing what i am doing, but i am. Class is today, can't wait to see you!

sodium lauryl sulfate

    Since the age of six-teen i was researching the benefits of being a vegetarian, meditating on a daily basis, and an organic lifestyle. I've been making healthier decisions since then. The food i eat is actually being digested, low on pesticides, and high in nutritional value; it's a lifestyle worth living because of how much awareness you can cultivate. My research led me to believe that our government seriously wants to do harm to it's citizens. I can't begin to describe how shocked i am about the crap they put in our products. F.D.A, U.S.D.A, D.E.A, etc...it's all corrupted. Why else would corporations like Monsanto use aspartame, a chemical used in diet soda, sweeteners, and is known to cause seizures and deaths.  Sodium lauryl sulfate is also a harmful chemical used in our shampoos, soaps, and toothpastes which may be known to cause breast cancer because of where oestrogen levels are known to be involved in; oestrogen is believed to be mimicked by the sulfate after it is absorbed by the skin.  The products are used because of how cheap they are to produce. It goes to show that in this country if you can save a buck or two, you're personal well being is, pretty much undermined. If you do your research you'll come to find how everything is tied in together: major corporations buying out our system - F.D.A - for their selfish needs. It's hard to get around it, i figure that the place our country is in now, everything is probably fucked with. It's hard to live a completely organic life because we don't have much of a choice. As i mentioned before, it's about how much awareness you can cultivate; so, be as organic as you can be, but remember that you can only do so much.       

0_o

      I had a good day today--can't complain whatsoever. It was an average day, haha, but it was beautiful; I was in awe by the way the sky's colors were blending together with the clouds and the rays of the sun, it was heavenly. I appreciate moments like those. I was running up and down L.A today (AGAIN) delivering paper hearts and talking to some random people about love! Activities like these are what keep me going in life. I realized this while i was running today. I was running up to Mulholland drive through a street named Wrightwood to look at the city at the top of the hill. If you've been through Mulholland then you must know that the roads that lead there are STEEP! It was difficult, i didn't have running shoes, and the roads were so tiny that my friend and i could have been hit by a car. Nevertheless, it was worth it for that one moment. Although there is pain, struggle, and anguish, you must realize that there are necessary in your development; you have to KEEP GOING! I was struggling mid-way up the hill where i had to stop and walk for a bit as i was walking i felt like giving up but i couldn't. I new this feeling very well and i know how feels to overcome it.You have to keep going and appreciate the activities that you are in involved in because that's who we are. Can't complain about that.          

My 10th blog post.

This is going to be very mediocre, ahha. I'm really sorry I can't write on here as much as i would want too. I want to tell you about everything that is happening but it's all just so much! It's hard to write about my experiences everyday, as much  i would want too, my time is occupied. Basically, this post is about how i can hardly find time to get on here because of life situations, it counts though, right? hahaha 

The night is always young,

      My days usually consist of me running up and down all over Los Angeles. I get my breaks through the periodic breathing that i do throughout the hours. It seems that i begin my day at night. I get home around 9, no earlier than 6. I have video shoots to plan for, non-violence training i need to prep for, and homework that needs to be done. There is so much chaos that i can really lose my cool. I've mentioned this particular state of chaos in my blogs before, it's getting worse--my car broke down. I've been dealing with this issue for the past few days by having to walk, bus, or borrow my roommates car so i can get around. It's tough. I have a lot on my plate but i still remember to keep my cool. I haven't been getting much support from my family either. The relationship with my mother has been on the rocks for a while now. It's hard having to deal with her concerns about me, everything i do makes her worried, and she won't get off my back for it. Logically, i can understand where she is coming from because she is a mother and that's her job. I moved out so, it's rough on her because she feels alone. What can i do? I am growing up and this is suppose to happen -- move out, make your mistakes, learn, and grow. It's not easy but I'm learning each day and I'm doing the best i can! My mom and I may not understand each other right now, but hopefully as the days go by we'll be able to reconcile. I'm going to work towards that day. The night is young, i must continue writing! It's a great meditation.            

Afternoon!

Oh boy, another fast-pace start to the day. I had class in the morning, learned about some Eastern Philosophy, and now i find myself here writing! I have a ways to go with the day. I have to get my car fixed, get some homework done, and then go to English, ( I get to see you today! ahaha.) Long day, but it'll be productive.   

I'm adventurous.
I'll always dive into the unknown, casually.
Balanced and all, the darkness will always chill my bones.
That's what i do it for. 











My soul is a ramblin' soul, it rides the winds and flows with the current of the stream, never going against it. It seems that change is the only constant in this world. Change with it. In a world of chaos, find your peace. Experience the world as it comes, try new experiences, be adventurous.

Do I sound mad?

"Leave me never would you, you show could I if

She said that she still wants a friendship
She can't live her life without me as a friend
I can't figure out why I'd give a damn to what she wants
I don't understand the now before the then

Most of this garbage I write
That these people seem to like
Is about you
And how I let you infect my life
And if they got to know you
I doubt that they would see it
They'd wonder what i showed you
How you could leave it
A friend in Chicago said that I should stay persistent
If I stay around I'm bound to break resistance
Fuck you, Lucy, for defining my existence
Fuck you and your differences

Ever since I was a young lad
With a part-time dad
It was hard to find happiness inside of what I had
I studied my mother
I digested her pain
And vowed no woman on my path would have to walk the same
Travel like sound across the fate ladder
I travel with spoon to mix this cake batter
And i travel with feels so i can deal with touch
It's like that
Thank you very much
Fuck you very much

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Fuck the what happened
I got stuck
They can peel pieces of me off the grill of her truck
Used to walk with luck
Used to hold her hand
Fell behind and played the role of a slower man
I wanna stand on top of this mountain and yell
I wanna wake up and break up this lake of hell
I feel like a bitch for letting the sheet twist me up
The last star fighter is wounded time to give it up
On a pick it up mission
Kept it bitter
Getting in a million memories just to forget her
The difficulty in keeping emotions controlled
Cookies for the road
Took me by the soul
Hunger for the drama
Hunger for the nurture
Gonna take it further
The hurt feels like murder
Interpret
The eyes
Read the lines on her face
The sunshine is fake
How much time did i waste?
Fuck you, Lucy, for leaving me
Fuck you, Lucy, for not needin' me
I wanna say fuck you
Because i still love you
No, I'm not OK
And I don't know what to do

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Do I sound mad?
Well I guess I'm a little pissed
Every action has a point
Five points make a fist
You close 'em
You swing 'em
It hurts when it hits
And the truth can be a bitch
But if the boot fits
I got an idea
You should get a tattoo that says "Warning"
That's all, just a warning
So the potential victim
Can take a left and safe breath
And avoid you
Sober and upset in the morning
I wanna scream "Fuck you, Lucy!"
But the problem is I love you, Lucy
So instead
I'm gonna finish my drink and have another
While you think about how you used to be my lover
(Fuck you)

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Leave never would you, you show could I if..." - Atmosphere

    I know M.L.A format but I'm not going to follow it for this post, in fact i may make a lot of mistakes but whatever, i really want to get out what im feeling through writing, right now - it may get dark. When you read these lyrics you'll find that he is talking about his co-dependency on things whether it be his girlfriend or some kind of drug. When you hear him rapping in this song...it's powerful...and i feel his passion. I get that with all kinds of music. Ugh, it's dark and a part of me loves to accept that...a big part of me actually. I don't feed off of sadness nor do i fend it off. I can explain why i feel so chaotic but for what? It doesn't do me any good; I'm just experiencing  a cluttered mind from things i have not let go of. At this moment part of letting go is writing this right now. I can admit that i am hurt and accept it but letting go is another thing. Love. Life. She hurt me bad, man. Yeah, yeah, either way it's going to be okay, it all passes in time.


For the reader ;) I hope i didn't creep/weird you out with this rant, my mind just went there, lol. I had too. Plus i need to catch up. You might not like rap music, so i don't know if  the song will resonate with you, but i'm sure you've had some heart-break. You'll feel me, i'm sure ahah

feeling good.

Life, thank you for today. Your light shined, now darkness follows; a great day, indeed. You passed us by and blessed us with new birth, as well as death. Today, we celebrate our new beginnings and welcome the dawn of the unknown. I am grateful for you, friends. Life, you've truly blessed me.

Oy!

     Get money out of politics! Yes, sir! I like the sound of this. Tomorrow, i will be doing a shoot for an organization that is in solidarity with the 99%, aka Occupy Los Angeles. I've been in involved with the occupation since day one, it's been  hell of a ride.. I became part of their actions committee as an organizer and blogged for their social media team. Every weekend i lived, worked, slept, and ate at City Hall. We dealt with a lot of crap. I realized how fucked up our government was at six-teen; the lies they feed through the media; the debt trap our government has implemented on our country through a central banking system; the constant fear mongering, and our failed political system led me to rebel. I had been waiting years for something like this to come along, i couldn't pass up the opportunity! Occupy has opened up many doors for me: I built strong relationships with people, I developed more organizational skills, and it guaranteed me a spot in a video campaign for "Get Money Out of Politics" by the 99%! Occupy has inspired me to speak up and make my voice be heard. For the first time ever, i was in a studio with make-up on (which made me feel weird), and lots of cameras. My message was simple: 
If money is running our country and the rich man's root of greed is money, then wouldn't it be safe to say that most of our ruling elite care about their personal agendas rather then our well being. Take a look at skid row and other projects across the country - I'm not being the judge here, I'm just observing the world we live in and i must say, it's pretty horrendous. We have a say in it, however. We can make the change ourselves by speaking up for ourselves. The change starts with you!  

The Veggie Grill!

    I can't even think about how my days are going, it seems like everything is happening so fast that time feels illusory. I can feel my experiences of course, but my body and mind just don't feel connected to a particular time pattern. I have a set schedule in school that coincide with my work schedule! I had to move out of my moms place in order to get classes at Valley and be closer to my job. The Veggie Grill is a vegan restaurant that i work in, it's W.E.H.O - West Hollywood. Very interesting vibes there, i used to work for J.P Morgan Chase as a teller, so it's a different environment from Veggie Grill, especially because it was a REALLY slow branch.This new setting in my life has shot me out of a cannon and I'm flying fast. SO, fast that my time feels distorted. It's eleven forty eight in the evening and I'm up. It's crazy, haha. You know, I'm an adventurous guy, i take mindful steps towards everything i come across and this experience requires just that. I can't go crazy right now not under all the pressure, this is the time when you harness all of your energy to center yourself and be calm within the storm. It's great really, i have no issues balancing all of these aspects of my life. I can watch time go by me and be completely calm. B A L A N C E. That's key, man.     

Why does love taste good?

     Ahhh, to be young and in love - what a fairy-tale, ey?  Love has always been a tricky topic for people; there's so many kinds of love out there that the word itself has become distorted. It's hard to figure out whether or not people actually mean it now-a-days because of how loosely it's thrown around. You'll always hear someone say how much they love a certain product or food,  like if it were nothing. Is there a difference in meaning when people say, i love you as oppose to saying, i love chocolate? We seem to use it because of how the word expresses our passion about a particular thing. However, it seems to change when it involves human relation; when it comes to saying i love you to a stranger, that won't happen. We can express how passionate we are about chocolate but not about people we don't know. Yes, there is a distinction between chocolate and a human being but there is a great quote that allowed me to see how they could be inter-changeable: "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together." It might sound cliche that i am quoting The Beatles but taking the statement into consideration, i feel John is saying that we are all one here.
      Okay, so, i jumped into an extremely interesting concept here by stating that every living entity is a part of a collective consciousness, that is our universe, which so happens to be love. We can say i love you to meaningless things but when we say i love you to a human being all of a sudden there is meaning and we are careful about how we express it. However, if we all are made of the same thing - love - then doesn't that mean we are just as meaningful as the feces we flush down the toilet? I love that just as much as i love chocolate, haha. It's true, I am a part of those things, i am in love. It's interesting to think that we share such a magnificent world together but yet we can't share our love together. To be in love; to be one with it all; it sounds like such a fairy-tale. All i know is that i love chocolate, therefore, i love you.  

     

It's 3 am.

      I love that i will be ending my night by adding a couple of words into this blog---feels great to write!
I wrote down something i often think about today in class and i read it out loud, my thoughts on that? I'm pretty sure people thought i was fucking weird, haha. It's a good thing though, i like being the weird, mysterious guy if that's how you want to put it. I do not think of myself to be that way but I've heard people say i give off that vibe. It's a fallacy though.
      I often think about the deeper meaning of life and i try to express them through words which i find to be pointless. Why? Well, i feel that life just can't be summed up into words. It does not do it justice. I can describe the most beautiful beach on this planet, how it looked, the way it smelled, and how it felt, but those words will never give you the experience of that beach. Words are nothing but symbols and character texts that point to the picture but are not the picture itself.
     Today, I wrote about my experience and what i often feel throughout the day; it may have sounded a bit pessimistic because i talked about death but i do not look at it that way. I wrote about an experience, not a concept, or an idea; it was about what life brings. Which entails me to say: "Words are traps but I'll use them to show you the trap." I'm out there, for sure. This may not make much sense to anyone reading this and it doesn't have too. I'll be in my own little world if you'd like a more clarification but a expect a simple answer.