Part one...? Maybe..

There is so much to say, but i do not know whether or not i should put it all in one blog. Plus, it is so late, that i should be getting sleep---whatever. I do not want to vague and not give details, but time has a hold on me so, i might just have to be. It seems like that is always the case. I guess, that is one thing i have to get better at...planning? No, i am organized, just always caught up in every moment i am. When i get involved into each moment, i get involved--i dive right into it! There was much that i needed to get situated, i needed to balance out my finances concerning my mom. I figured living on my own can wait. Honestly, i know by the end of summer i will probably be gone. I want to go out of the country in order to find a great monastery somewhere in Southeastern Asia, but i also found a great school in Colorado that incorporates Buddhist teachings into its curriculum--- which means i can go to school and still get a great in depth look on Buddhism. I am set on pursuing either of the two, both seem like a great option. It is a great change in environment, there are other places that need to be explored; other people to meet and connect with; experiences with valuable lessons in store; i love the sound of the experience. I am not trying to escape my environment, but realizing that there are other places that call to me. This place has been great, but i have grown out of it. It is a symbol of everything i am growing out of. Although, I do acknowledge that everywhere i go: it is all the same land; change is constant in this land, thus, i move with the change. Believe me when i say, there has been some major changes. The echoes of my last relationship still vibrate in my heart cave; the sound resonating, shaking my bones to the core. It lingers and it becomes stagnant after a while. I do not hold remorse towards this in anyway; i just feel the hurt that we have caused ourselves, as i know she is probably still hurting after finding out what she has been up to lately. There has never been a "getting over someone" phase for me. I do not look at is as if i am passing the person to their next partner so, i can also have my share. My process is completely different from that of the status quo. She quickly went on the rebound, but my contentedness led to my acceptance of being alone with myself. I am so content with her happiness, our happiness, that i can not criticize her---to each his own. I took it so much better than expected. There is so much more to write, but i will be calling it a night, school in the morning. Hopefully, i get to see you tomorrow!