Taking it so much better than expected

Observing your feelings after a situation that has had a deep emotional impact is hard for most people. When we hurt we tend to hide by projecting out insecurities on to others---of course i am speaking from experience. We tend to either lash out by victimizing ourselves, getting lost with our friends with drug use, or partying constantly; finding a quickie so we get rid of the lonely feeling; or just being a workaholic so you can forget your misery. We may not admit it but our motives at times can be very obscured  by our habitual patterns of unfulfillment or emptiness. The more we fall into the trap set up by ourselves, the more our lives become diluted. We search outside of ourselves in order to be satisfied, this is the case with most relationships too. We want people to tend to a certain image so we can fully be in love. Truth is: we are insecure; we do not trust nor love ourselves enough to be unconditional. It is so hard for people to observe this in themselves. We can not face ourselves with the truth because we are afraid of dealing with our insecurities. Instead of dealing with this and turning inward, we turn outward and dilute ourselves by searching for love. One can not search for love, that's is ridiculous, if you knew yourself you would know that this is something you already have; if you knew yourself you would know, everything you are searching for is inside of you. It is until one realizes this that a relationship can be healthy. It takes observation in order to understand that everything you want is stored in your being, it is waiting for you to harness it. Go within so you can stop this vicious pattern. Do yourself a favor, stop projecting outward and go inward.